flames

it’s been difficult to find space for kindness

I am starting to lose all sense of what kind feels like.

I remember

how the smell of it made my insides full
how the touch of it warmed the insides of my chest
how the words of it enveloped me in a sunset glow

I remember these like a memory of a time long past,
almost nostalgic.

senses now blurred from breathing in pain
scent of death clings to my skin
fatigue hardened chest

I lament to the sky upwards
stomping my feet on the earth
screaming into the void
wishing for the world to soften

enough so I can rest in it

enough so I don’t have to constantly wipe the blood off my soles from walking on thorns

back breaking
skin cracking
eyes burning

I am in flames.

can someone please put out this fire before I burn myself to grey dust

and there’s no one to put out this fire.

and I am the only one who can put out this fire